Forget Me Not

Sara B. 7/05

Thursday

Scully walked into Skinner’s office for the first time in a week, the first time since it happened.  She was mourning but since she hadn’t been a relative she had to take personal time.  Mulder was gone.  Burned with his lover, Diana Fowley, and the rest of the consortium hierarchy at El Rico Air Base.

Today she figured that Skinner would tell her if she would be assigned back to the X-Files or if she was to be transferred.  She never thought it was possible but she just didn’t care which.  The X-Files were Mulder’s obsession and she’d shared it with him.  Until last spring she thought it was them against the wrong doers.  Her fantasy came crashing down the moment Mulder sang Diana’s Fowley’s praises and asked her if she wanted him to make a choice.  She didn’t need him to make a choice; he’d already made it clear what the answer would be. 

The fact that she loved Mulder was no secret to her, nor to Mulder she suspected.  Scully was good at controlling her emotions but he just knew her too well.  Mulder was nothing if not a master manipulator and he tossed her scraps to keep her involved.  He even went so far as to tell her he loved her.  Dolling out affection in bits and pieces; keeping the hunger at bay but never satiating and only when absolutely necessary. 

She mentally slapped herself for being uncharitable.  Mulder had loved her, how could he not?  It was the love you doted on a trusted friend and confidant, a pet.  Yes, he had loved her but he had been ‘in’ love with Diana Fowley. 

If she’d had any doubts, they were erased the last time she saw him.  He stood there with his arms crossed and that smug look on his face.  She wanted to slap him, make him wake up to what they were showing him.  The only time he seemed remotely interested was when she started to walk out.  He had called her back, but only to insult her.  Thankfully she never looked back when she left or he would have seen the death of her feelings for him; for surely even she could not hide such complete destruction.  

He called her later; wanting her to tag along with them.  It was insulting that he actually thought she would subject herself to that humiliation.  Better to die with the few threads of dignity she still clung to than sell out like Mulder had; to be a traitor.  It was at that moment she discovered that you could truly love someone and hate them at the same time.  Oh yes, she hated Fox Mulder; she hated him with all the intense passion she loved him with.

She hadn’t gone to the funeral.  She hadn’t even asked about the plans.  She didn’t think she could take seeing the two coffins being laid to rest side by side for eternity.  She couldn’t even find it in her to send condolences to his mother.  Instead she spent a morning in silent prayer and meditation.  Later, she put a bag in her car and drove.  She drove with no destination in mind; stopping only when she tired and ate only when she was hungry.  If anyone asked where she’d gone she would have to look at receipts for the answer.  To the ever dutiful woman she was, freedom was a heady experience that reintroduced her to the carefree teenager she once was. 

She returned late last night and prepared herself to face her future.  She didn’t know what was in store for her.  They may return her to the X-files or back to teaching.  She may return home in a few hours and begin packing because they decided to transfer her to some field office.  The meeting with Skinner in the morning had all the mystery and possibilities of a closed door.  No matter how many times you’d crossed its threshold, you never knew what may lay beyond.  Scully was filled with wonder and terror and it exhilarated her!

Skinner sat at his desk and hardly noticed her as she walked in.  Sitting in the chair that Mulder nearly always took, sat a man.  He was tall with dark hair and brown-green eyes. 

He looked vaguely familiar but that could be just that she’d seen him lurking the Hoover hallways.  So she was being assigned a new partner.   It was fast but maybe for the best because it gave her no time to sulk.  She mentally thanked Skinner for his compassion and wisdom.

A gentle shy smile graced his face as she took the other seat and she acknowledged it with a nod.  She waited for Skinner to perform the introductions but after a few minutes she got antsy and decided to take matters into own hands. 

Scully reached out her hand to the man and introduced herself.  “Hello, I’m Dana Scully and you are?” 

Both men looked at her and tried to figure out what was going on.  It was definitely not like Dana Scully to joke and her face showed that she was indeed serious.  Her eyes showed no recognition in them.

The man extended his hand and said simply, “Fox Mulder.”  He looked at Skinner who just shook his head.  Mulder figured it would be best to play out the scene and find out what was going on with her.  Her eyes still remained clueless.

“Nice to meet you, ‘Fox’ did you say?”  Scully responded as she pulled her hand back.

Mulder nodded and said, “I prefer Mulder.”  She nodded in reply but gave no further acknowledgement.

“Agent Scully, who do you think this is?”  Skinner asked trying hard to hide his worry.

“I’m assuming this is my new partner.”  She turned to Mulder, “I don’t know if you are aware that my former partner, Special Agent Fox Mulder, and his lov. . ., I mean along with Agent Diana Fowley, was killed in a holocaust a week ago.”  She turned back to Skinner.  Even her saying his name did not make her recognize Mulder.  “Am I right?”

Skinner went to say something but Mulder quickly shook his head. “Yes, that is exactly right Agent Scully.  May I call you Dana?”

She wanted to tell him to call her Scully but there was something wrong about that so she nodded and said, “that would be fine.”

“Sir, from this, am I to assume that we will be assigned to the X-Files?”

“Uh, yes, Agent Mulder here will be in charge of the division and . . .”

If it were possible Scully sat even straighter.  “With all due respect to Agent Mulder’s abilities, I think my experience in the division would warrant some consideration in this matter.”

Skinner was at a loss so he fell on his old standby.  “I will take it under advisement.”

Scully wanted to continue the argument but knew it wouldn’t help.  ‘Take it under advisement’ was the A.D.’s equivalent of her mom’s ‘I’ll think about it.’  In other words no chance in hell!

Skinner dismissed them so they went to the basement office without conversation.  Scully stopped at the door with her keys in the lock and just stood there with her eyes staring at the two nameplates: Special Agent Diana Fowley and Special Agent Jeffrey Spender.  “That needs to be fixed immediately,” she said acidly.

The door opened to reveal the office looking exactly like it did the night Mulder and she had been caught ‘trespassing’ by Spender.  She looked around for a moment.  It was neater than when she worked here with Mulder but it was still ill laid out. 

“I think we need to get another desk in here.  If we move those cabinets there will be room.”  She chuffed a sad laugh.  “I worked in this office for over five years with Mulder and I never had a desk.  I asked about it once and he made a joke.  It really hurt but I suppose he was telling me something.”

Mulder was really curious to find out what she thought his carelessness meant, so he asked.  “I suppose it was Mulder’s way of telling me that I really didn’t belong.  I always had the feeling I was temporary.”  She looked down and her hair hid her face. “I found out last spring why.” 

Scully quickly pulled her shoulders back.  “Well, I don’t know what he told you about me, but Skinner told me nothing about you.  Do you want to head out to an early lunch and trade background information and cell phone numbers?  Come on I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” 

Her face lit up with a smile and Mulder’s heart soared then plummeted.  This was a Scully he didn’t know, a little light hearted, definitely flirty and kind of irresistible.  But how can she be acting like this if she thought he was dead?  He had a theory, of course, but he wanted to be sure.  He was going to use their ‘getting to know you’ session to find out.

They arrived at the restaurant and Scully stared at the entrance before walking in.  “Something wrong?” Mulder asked.

“No, it’s just, well, this was Mulder’s favorite place for lunch.  I haven’t been here for some time and it took me by surprise.  I rather missed it.”

Mulder thought about it for a moment and they hadn’t been here for at least four or five months.  Heck, they mostly grabbed something and ate at their desks while they worked for Kersh.  He had been the one that stopped their outside lunches, choosing instead to use the time to search out leads and hack into the X-Files computer.  It never occurred to him that Scully would miss it. 

Mulder then became worried that someone at the restaurant might know them and mention him by name.  But then again, it might jog her memory.  The question was would that be a good or bad thing?

His concern was unfounded because the host and the waiter were new to the place so to them they were just two anonymous customers.

“Say, Scu--, I mean, Dana would it be okay to make a deal?  I ask you all the questions this time and then next time you get to ask.  You know, we’ll rotate.”

She looked at him suspiciously and he thought she was going to say no but then she just nodded.  “That would be fine but with one rule: nothing too personal.”

“Too personal?”  Mulder didn’t quite understand.  Nothing between Scully and he could ever be too personal.  But then he remembered, to her he wasn’t ‘Mulder,’ or at least the one she knew.

“You can’t ask me when my period is and I can’t ask you your jock strap size; too personal.”  Mulder almost choked on his soda.

Mulder started off slow trying to cover all the things someone who didn’t know her might ask.  Family, all the places she’d lived growing up, college, medical school, when she went through Quantico and so on.  Scully answered everything but she also gifted him with little stories.  Mulder was charmed and saddened.  Why hadn’t she shared any of these things with him before?  Did she think he wouldn’t have been interested?  Then again he’d never shown an interest; he’d never asked. 

She told him about living in Japan for six months and that in San Diego she got her first kiss when she was four and riding her little bike.  He was a friend of her brother’s who was about eight; he just grabbed her and kissed her on the mouth.  It scared her so much she ran into the house and made sure she wasn’t anywhere around if that boy was visiting.  She heard years later that he was convicted of sexually abusing little girls when he was in his twenties.  Mulder found out that she actually had had a little sister but the child died when she was eight months old.  Scully had been two when the girl, Karen Jean, was born and her dad was deployed at the time.  She was home alone with her mom when she went into labor.  Mulder could see the panicked child she’d been when she called for help and then waiting for someone to arrive.  Scully told him that she’d blamed herself for the Karen’s death because she thought she had done something wrong when her mom was in labor.

Lunch was over, but Mulder suggested they keep up the question and answer.  Scully didn’t know why, but she agreed.  They drove back to work and settled into the office and the conversation never ceased

Mulder knew it would be an invasion but he couldn’t help himself; he moved the conversation to her feelings and thoughts about him.  He justified it by saying it might lead him to understand what happened.  He also knew it was a bullshit justification.

“Dana, would you mind if we talked about the X-Files and your former partner?”

She hesitated but decided he had a right to know.  “I’ve heard that you and Mulder were really close. . .”

She interrupted him, “they aren’t true.”  He looked confused. “The rumors are not true.  We were never involved like that.  Mulder never saw me as anything more than his partner and his best friend.  When he went looking for lovers they tended to be a lot taller with brown hair and, let’s just say their body types were a lot different.”  Her hands extended about three or four inches in front of her bust.

Mulder just stared.  How could she think that?  Scully must have read his face and added, “believe me in six years I had plenty of proof.  I saw countless double takes and all the lustful glances from him and never once was there a short redhead in the bunch.  Hell, there wasn’t a tall one either but there was the occasional blonde.  I interrupted him once, walked in.  We were on a lousy case in a town called Comity, what a nightmare.  We had been on each other’s nerves since the previous case.”  She looked away and spoke quietly so Mulder had to listen hard to hear. “Bambi an entomologist, a damned bug doctor and the son of a bitch hated insects.  But give him a chance to get laid,” her voice trailed off as she realized she was actually speaking.

“In Comity, he said it was some sort of planet alignment that caused the craziness.  I don’t know but something was going on.  There had been another murder and I walked into his room, the door was ajar, and there was the female detective straddling his groin with her skirt almost scrunched to her waist.”

“Are you sure that was what happened, couldn’t it have been that she jumped him?”  Mulder felt he needed to defend himself.

“Funny, that was what he claimed but by the time this happened I’d gotten to know him pretty well.  I just walked in too soon.”

“Do you know why I called him Mulder all the time?”

Mulder was taken aback slightly.  “He preferred it?”

“Well, yes – sort of.  He preferred it from men, most definitely from me but he preferred Fox whenever the possibility of an easy screw entered the picture.  He called me Scully from moment one so I followed suit.  One night, I tried to tell him how important he was to me and I called him Fox.  He told me that he made everyone, including his parents, call him Mulder.  That bastard lied to me, as if I hadn’t seen him flirt with nearly every buxom waitress or stewardess we ran into.”  Scully made quote marks with her hands, “‘no, please call me Fox.’  That was when I knew that I would never be anything more than his partner.”

Mulder couldn’t believe what he was hearing but if he thought about it he had to admit she was probably right.  Maybe slightly exaggerated but right all the same.

“You said something earlier that I’d like you to explain.  You said you always felt temporary and last spring you found out why.”

“Last spring Diana Fowley, Mulder’s former lover, came back and he pushed me away.  It came to a head just before he was killed.  We had a huge fight that night and it was all about Diana Fowley.  I’ll never forgive him for that; for how he just chose her over everything we’d been through.”

Mulder saw the tear form in her eye and desperately wanted to fold her in his arms.  “He went to her and they took off together.  He tried to take me too.  I think that might be the worst part.  Mulder actually thought I would follow like some love sick puppy waiting for him to turn away from his lover to notice me.  Like that would have happened.  Besides, he betrayed the entire human race!  And he wanted me to do it too.”  Scully caught herself nearly screaming and calmed herself.  “God, I’m so sorry.  The only thing I can say is that it is still pretty raw.  I’m, oh hell, I’m just really sorry.  Do you think we can stop now?  I’m really tired; I’m out of practice telling someone what I’m really thinking.  I’m sorry.”

“No, Scully, don’t be sorry, I wanted to hear it, I want to hear anything you want to tell me.”

She laughed, “that will be a change.  I got into the habit of telling Mulder ‘I’m fine’ all the time because he never listened the few times I actually told him how I felt.  He really didn’t want to know.”  She stood up.  “I think I’m going to head out.”

Scully got to her car and sat for a few minutes before starting the engine.  The day played over in her mind.  What had gotten into her?  She hadn’t been that open with anyone in a long time.  Her new partner seemed nice and for some reason, once she started talking, she couldn’t hold anything back.  She knew she needed to get out of there when she started talking about Mulder.  She started the engine and went home.  She liked this Fox Mulder but she was still going to have the guys check him out.

Three hours later Mulder was still staring at the door Scully had walked through.  He was hoping she’d come back yet fearing it too.  The woman he’d spent the day with was not his Scully.  She was the woman who he’d caught a glimpse of when she first walked in and introduced herself.  The woman who he hardly had a chance to know before something in him made her close down.  Made her hide all those wonderful tidbits of her life she told him about today. 

If anyone had asked him a week ago he would have sworn no one knew her like he did.  He was so wrong; he hardly knew her at all.

It was obvious that the trauma of El Rico and his actions before it caused her to have some sort of hysterical amnesia.  The break was so acute that she’d completely rewritten the facts.  Hell, she’d killed him off.

Skinner walked into the office and sat down.  “Any ideas as to what is going on?”  Mulder recapped the day and gave him the highlights of what had gone on just before El Rico, being sure to skim over the more sensitive issues.

“So now she’s convinced herself that you and Diana Fowley went to El Rico and were killed.  Did she say anything about the train and trashing the car?”

“She said she went alone.  She also told me she couldn’t go to my funeral.”

Skinner thought for a moment.  “I don’t want either of you in the field until she is back to normal.  I can give you a little leeway but you must know if she doesn’t remember soon we’re going to have to get her help.”  Mulder only nodded.  “Keep me informed will you?”  Again Mulder nodded.  Skinner sat forward, “Mulder, I’m asking as a friend and not your boss but I need to know.”  He didn’t quite know how to ask it any way but bluntly. “Are you and Fowley involved?”

Mulder shook his head.

“I’ve seen how you act with both women and I was convinced you were in love with Scully until about four or five months ago.  You just, I don’t know, but you seemed awfully chummy with Fowley.  I think that is what Scully picked up on.  She almost said ‘lover’ this morning.”  Skinner stood and walked to the door.  “And I have to tell you she wouldn’t be the only one who thought that way either.” 

Skinner started to open the door when Mulder regained his senses enough to stop him.  “What are you talking about?”

Skinner turned back and looked at Mulder, “I mean just the way you’ve acted.  People have been talking.” 

Friday

Mulder walked toward the garage elevator and was pleasantly surprised to see Scully waiting for it.  “Good morning Scu . . .Dana.”  He’d had a lousy night but seeing her helped.

“Good morning Mulder, what time did you take off last night?”

“I stayed till about eight-thirty then headed home.”

“Reading through the files or just trying to believe you’ve been assigned to the X-Files and thinking about who you ticked off for this detail?”  Scully asked playfully.

Mulder was thrown slightly at her tossing his long ago words back at him.  He thought he’d try something, just then the elevator doors opened and she started in.  “Actually I was looking forward to working with you.”

Scully’s steady steps faltered for a moment but she recovered quickly.  She shook her head and spoke, “Come on, you’ve got to be joking?  You want to work with the Ice Queen, Red Badger, Doc Ice, Stone Cold Scully on the least respected division in the FBI?”

Mulder was aghast that she knew people called her those names behind her back.  He knew of them, of course, hell he was the one who coined Red Badger back in their first year.  Something he still regretted.  He was also upset about what she said about the X-Files.

“Do you really think so little of the division?”

“No, but that’s what others think.  I know the X-Files are important.  They are probably the most important division in all of the FBI.  The FBI hierarchy knows it too but they won’t ever admit it.”  The elevator reached the basement and they walked toward the office.  Once again she stopped at the locked door.  This time she turned to him. “Agent Mulder, in this office there are things unheard of, un-thought of and unimaginable.  There are lies and deceits but there are also truths and our job is to find out which is which and try and prove what we find.” 

She solemnly opened the door and put her things down and removed her coat.  Mulder could tell she had more to say and he was eager to hear it.  She started slowly.  “The first time I entered this room I thought I would stick around for five or six months.  Prove Mulder was a crackpot then go on my merry way.  Two weeks later, after one field assignment and a lot of reading of the cases, I knew this would be a lot longer assignment than I’d planned.  In those two weeks I experienced an assignment that knocked me on my smug little ass and I found out that Mulder was no crackpot but a genius and someone who challenged me and let me challenge him.  That man became my dearest and most precious friend and until a few months ago I thought we would be together in some way for the rest of our lives.”  She snorted a little, “I guess you could say we were together till his death but it wasn’t like it was before.  Before it was us against everyone else, in the end,” she paused and just said, “it was different.”

Mulder wanted desperately for her to finish the thought but couldn’t figure out how to make her continue.

“What I’m trying to say is that the X-Files is not the first rung on the latter to the top but in its own odd way it is the top.  You will never do more important work than this.”

Mulder tried desperately to hide his emotions.  He never knew Scully felt this way about the little orphaned division.  He saw he needn’t have worried about her seeing his emotions because she was lost in her thoughts.

They set about organizing the office and Mulder ordered a desk and chair for Scully.  She’d been right about moving a couple of cabinets to make room.  He was surprised when she opened her briefcase and pulled out a folder that contained quite a number of the old articles he’d had posted randomly around the office before the fire.  Scully explained that she had come in and salvaged what she could in hopes of presenting them to ‘Mulder’ when they got the X-Files back.  She told him that she scoured the DC area trying to locate a replacement poster.  She went into detail explaining the poster to him.

“I think he would have really appreciated that, Dana.”

“Yeah maybe, I thought so at one time but toward the end I wasn’t sure,” Scully said hesitantly.

Mulder needed to know what she was talking about.  “What do you mean, you weren’t sure?”

“Mulder was taking me for granted, taking our partnership and our friendship for granted.  I tried but I never seemed to do anything but annoy him.  Oh, hey how about lunch?  It’s time I got to grill you about all your deep dark secrets.”

Mulder couldn’t believe the morning had passed so quickly.

They went to a small Italian place that Scully knew about.  Mulder had never been there and he wondered why she’d never shared this place with him.  They ordered and she started questioning him.  He was sure that his answers would spring some recognition from her but it didn’t.  He told her about going to Oxford and her only comment was that it was strange that he’d never met Mulder there.  He mentioned Phoebe Greene and she laughed that both her partners had been enamored with that ‘Brit bitch’ as she called Phoebe. He mentioned his sister being kidnapped, he avoided saying abducted.  He thought she might interpret that as him mocking ‘Mulder.’

No matter what he told her she showed no signs of recognition.  She made one comment about how much his life paralleled Mulder’s.  The questioning went on all afternoon and Mulder amazed himself at how many things he’d never told her about.  He even told her about his marriage and subsequent divorce.  He left Diana’s name out of it, only saying that it was a woman he worked with and that she left DC before the final decree was dry. 

Mulder decided to lay it all out.  He told her he was in love with someone and that he thought he’d blown it with her.  He explained how his ex-wife showed up and he’d let his screwed up sense of loyalty to his ex get in the way of his relationship with this other woman.

“Dana, what would you do if something like that happened to you?  Say Mulder did something like that and without realizing it pushed you away.  Would you forgive him, be willing to love him again?”  Mulder asked, desperately wanting to know her answer.

Scully smiled the saddest, loneliest smile he’d ever seen and she wouldn’t look at him.  “Is it that obvious?  I mean that I loved him?”  Mulder didn’t know how to answer so he remained quiet.   “No matter, this will have to be hypothetical since we know Mulder never loved me that way.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Dana.  There had to be a reason so many people thought you two were a couple.  They had to see something from both of you.”

“Yeah, well, wait a minute when did I tell you about being mistaken for a couple?”

“You must have mentioned it,” Mulder stammered while he berated himself for not being more careful.

“I guess so,” she said slowly.  “Hypothetically if Mulder were to, what exactly, ask me to forgive him or take him back, what?  You didn’t say how far your relationship with this woman is.”

“We’re close, really close.  We’ve never moved forward toward romance but that is the direction I hoped we were headed.  That is until I messed up and took her for granted and trusted my ex-wife over her.”

“Trust is a terrible part of any relationship to destroy or even damage.  It is the hardest part to grow and even harder to earn back once lost.”

“More so than love?”  Mulder was really interested in her answer, it would reveal so much.

“Very much more.  You can love some one and not trust them or even like them.  It is a little different but I love my brother Bill.  But I don’t really trust him and I don’t even like him very much.  He would always place his beliefs and needs over mine.  Even on issues that relate to me and he has no business being involved in.  He always has and he has never not told me what was wrong with me and my life.”  Scully walked to the desk and leaned back.  “So you want this woman to renew your old relationship and then move toward an even deeper relationship, is that right?”

Mulder smiled at how easily she said what he could barely put into thought.  “Yeah, that’s it exactly.”

“Well if it were me, I’d need to know for certain you were sincere.  That it wasn’t just another dramatic ploy crafted out of your fear that I was leaving.  That this time you wouldn’t just drop it when you got what you wanted and left me hanging.”  Her eyes drifted off as she thought of something unspoken.  Mulder had an idea that she was thinking about his declaration in his hallway last summer and how he never mentioned it again. 

The phone rang interrupting them and Scully answered.  She handed the phone to him. “It’s for you, and if I’m not mistaken it may be one of the women you were talking about, ‘Fox’.”  He took the phone and she continued, “I’m cutting out, see you Monday.”

“Bye Dana.” 

He put the phone to his ear only to hear, “Fox, since when do you call Agent Scully Dana?”  Diana asked.

Diana Fowley was the last person he really wanted to hear from right then. “What do you want, Diana?”

Mulder spent the weekend recapping everything he’d learned from Scully.  He now thought he understood the reason for her amnesia and unfortunately he was the direct cause.  Unfortunately, this knowledge brought him no closer to finding a way to make her remember.

Diana’s call had interrupted what might had been a revelation from Scully.  Pangs of regret hit him when he recalled how short he’d been with Diana but he couldn’t help it.  Her return had triggered the destruction of his relationship with Scully and her current problem.  Okay, so he was being unfair.  It wasn’t Diana that caused the problems but his reactions to her. 

Monday morning, while he was getting ready for work, he was no closer to a solution than he’d been last Thursday in Skinner’s office.  All the weekend had brought him was more confusion and a lot less sleep that he could ill afford to lose..

Mulder got to the office only to find Scully already working, sorting through some files.  She looked up and smiled at him then the smile dropped.  “Damn, you look like you need a caffeine drip.  Trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah,” he dropped his things and walked over to where she was sitting.  “Find anything interesting?”

“No, and I think it’s a good thing.  I don’t think you could handle it.  What happened, does this have anything to do with your woman problems?”

“I guess it does, but not in the way you mean.  Could we, I mean would it be okay if we didn’t talk about that now?”

“Of course, Mulder.  Look, we’re only doing paperwork and sorting so why don’t you take your chair and a stool and see if you can catch some sleep?”

Scully stood up and helped him off with his jacket then pulled him and his chair to the back room and made him sit.  She dimmed the lights and walked back to the front office. 

Mulder watched her for a few minutes then closed his eyes.

Mulder was aware of a gentle jostling of his shoulder and someone softly calling his name.  “Come on, Mulder, it is lunch time.  Wake up.” 

Mulder opened his eyes and gave Scully a huge grin, then he startled.  “Wait a minute, did you say lunch?”

“Yeah, it’s two, I was going to wake you earlier but you looked like you really needed it.  I went out and picked up some Chinese, I hope that’s okay?”

“You know what I like!”  Mulder teased but sobered when he saw the questioning look she gave him.  The moment passed and she went to dish out their meals.

The rest of the week was spent sorting, filing and cleaning up a few cases where they only needed to make a phone call or two or.  Thursday Scully got a call and was asked to fill in for a lecture at Quantico on Friday afternoon and Mulder decided that would be a good time to talk to Diana Fowley.  He called her and arranged for her to meet with him in his office, at one, after Scully left.

Diana arrived fifteen minutes late but Mulder chose to ignore it, there would be bigger issues to discuss.  Mulder told her about the situation with Scully and was stunned by

Diana’s reaction. Rather than help him find a way to help Scully, Diana wanted to use it as a way to have her taken off the X-Files and have herself reinstated.  For the first time, he thought he might have been wrong and Scully might have been right about Diana.

They were in the middle of a heated argument when Scully opened the door.  “I got half way there and they call me to tell me the lecture was cancel- -”  She stopped mid sentence and just stood there looking, first at Mulder then Fowley and back.  “Mulder?”  She stammered, “but you’re, and you are. . .”  Scully couldn’t complete her thoughts as realization flowed over her and suddenly she just folded into a heap.

“Scully!” Mulder cried as ran to her. 

“Should I call 911 or security?”  Diana asked calmly, too calmly.

“No, but I think you should leave before she comes to.”  Mulder held Scully until she awoke.  First she smiled at him then jumped up as if he bit her.  She twirled around looking feverishly for Diana.  Suddenly she stopped and she turned slowly back toward Mulder. 

Anger, resentment and fear fought in her expression.  She covered her face with her hands.  “What was it, Mulder, some sort of cruel joke?  What a laugh you and Diana must have shared when you told her about the things I said to you.” 

A sob caught in her throat and Mulder kneeled in front of her.  “No, Scully I didn’t tell her any of the things we discussed; I wouldn’t do that to you, to us.”  He tried to pry her hands down but she fought him.  Mulder finally pinned both her wrists in his hands and made her look at him.  “Scully, I just told Diana about this situation today.  The only other person who knows is Skinner.”

Mulder watched her for a moment and saw it happen.  Scully’s internal walls built up.  He saw it in her eyes and in her posture.  Gone was the flirty open woman he’d just begun to know and his Scully returned with all her defense mechanisms in place.  He was sorry to see Dana go but this was the woman he’d fallen in love with.

“You don’t need to hold me anymore Mulder, I won’t flee.”

Mulder didn’t release her but instead leaned in and whispered, “but I want to hold you.”  He knew it was the wrong move before he finished his sentence.  Scully shook him off and walked to the other side of the office.

“I guess we need to talk,” Mulder mumbled.

“Believe it or not, I don’t blame you for this, Mulder.  But I would like to ask two questions.”  He nodded to indicate that she should continue.  “First, what the hell happened to me?  I have it all right here,” she pointed to her head.  “You were dead and so was Diana Fowley.  I saw you dead.  The funeral was last week but I couldn’t go.  What happened to me?”

“You had some sort of break caused by the trauma.  Didn’t I look at all familiar?”

“Sort of, I remember thinking you looked familiar when I walked into Skinner’s office.  I just figured that I’d seen you around the building.  There were a couple times you’d say or do something and I’d think ‘that is just like Mulder.’  I can’t believe I didn’t make any connections.”

“To be honest. I can’t explain it but I’m kind of happy it happened because I learned a lot even if I didn’t like being the cause.  I’m going to guess your second question has to do with our conversations, right?”  Scully nodded once.  “I was using the Q&A to profile you to try and figure out what caused the problem and maybe try and fix it.”

“I don’t know what to say, I need to think about all of this.”  Scully moved to leave.

He was in front instantly.  “No!  I’m not letting you leave here and go and just fortify your defenses to the point I won’t ever get in.”  He pulled back and continued more gently.  “Scully, we both said some things.  You have to realize that when I told you about the woman I wanted it was you I was talking about.  And I know that in the things you said you told me you loved me too.  There is a lot more that needs to be said on both our parts.”

Scully didn’t say anything for several moments and Mulder was getting nervous.  She cocked her head, “so Diana Fowley is your ex-wife?  What the hell were you thinking?”

“Two words Scully, Jack Willis.”  Mulder responded.

“Got it, temporary insanity.” 

Several Months Later

Scully started picking up baseballs as Mulder paid off the kid.  When they finished cleaning up Mulder stored his bat in his trunk and they leaned against their cars.  It was Saturday night and still quite early.  Neither wanted to leave so they just leaned against their car doors facing each other.  They’d had a rough start and some serious setbacks; a badly timed undercover assignment, a sea monster during an off season hurricane in Florida and a woman who thought like a dog and wanted to trap Mulder, to name a few.  But they were still together and making progress. 

“So, did you enjoy your batting lesson Scully?”  Mulder asked casually.

“Yes, very much.  But I do have to confess something.”

“Ooooh, a Scully confession, bring it on.”

“I have played baseball before.  But I can honestly say that I never had a coach use such a ‘hands on’ approach before.”

“It’s my own special technique, designed strictly for one student.”

“I’m honored.  Just so I don’t forget,” Scully stood up and walked to him.  She grabbed his hands and placed them on her hips and  leaned on him then wiggled her hips and Mulder groaned.  “It was hips before hands wasn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, definitely hips before hands.”  Mulder leaned down and Scully pushed up and their lips met in the middle. 

End

Author’s notes:  Like I said in the summary I have no idea if there is such a condition as the one Scully suffered from.  I’m not a psychologist or a psychiatrist so most of this story is pure hokum.  BUT I thought it made a good story, at least I hope it did.