Case Closed 2

Sara B. 05-06

The two Guardian Angels entered their favorite watering hole and heard the Reaper at the bar complaining about his last assignment.  They didn’t really pay him too much heed because they were too busy thinking of their new assignments.  They saw their pal, Warren, sitting at a table in the far corner and went to join him. 

“Hey, Pete, Mike, what you drinking, it’s on me!”  Warren greeted them warmly.

Mike and Pete were completely taken aback by Warren’s zeal.  Warren was known as the Guardian Angel who put the tude in attitude.  Neither could remember the last time the guy had cracked a smile and here he was as jovial as a court jester.

“What gives?” Mike asked for the both of them.  “You’re usually too tired from all the crap your charges put you though.  What happened, did they pass on?”

“No, nothing like that; they are both just fine and they are going to stay that way.”

What, no deadly virus or jumping from moving trains?  What about bees?  Neither of them had much luck when bees were around.”

“Nope, not a thing.  Don’t look but that guy at the bar. . .” Warren pointed toward the distraught Reaper.  “Geez, I said don’t look.  Well, he was the cause of all those misfortunes that plagued my dynamic duo all these years and he’s been reassigned. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are not now, nor will they ever be in danger ever again and they have me to thank.”  Warren bowed his head in a mock bow.

“No shit?”  Pete exclaimed with envy.

“I start my retirement immediately.  The boss said he had to retire me because if I stayed on as a Guardian eventually no one would die.  Can’t have that unless they stop being born and they can only do that if they take all the fun out of conception and if they did that they’d all want to die.  It’s a vicious cycle.”  The three Guardians started to laugh.

Warren’s face grew somber and he lowered his voice.  “It came none too soon, I’m not ashamed to tell you.  That guy is the best Reaper I ever ran across. I was running out of tricks.”  He called the bar tender over.  He ordered a round for the table and told him to give the Reaper a drink on him but not to tell him who sent it. 

“You wouldn’t believe the problems that guy threw at me.  Gun shots to the head, thighs, abdomens, you name it.  Ancient worms, vampire wannabees, crazies who like to perform lobotomies, aliens wielding fire sticks, parasites that live in underground steam tunnels.  You name it and that guy over there thought of it.”

“But you beat him.”  Mike slapped Warren on the back.

“Only because the higher ups pulled his plug.  I got a look at his next plan of attack and,” he was shaking his head, “there ain’t no way I could have gotten them out of that one.  Just ain’t no way.”

“Bad huh?” Pete asked and Warren nodded.  “Care to share?”

“Believe me, you do not want to know.  I thought the six foot fluke worm was gross.  Man, that was nothing compared to what he had in store for them.”  Warren checked his watch.  “Hey, sorry but I have to get a move on.  Patty is waiting on me.  We are going to celebrate big time.  I’ll buy another round then I really have to get going or I’m going to need a Guardian.”  He motioned to the barkeep.  “So, enough about me, what’s new with you two?”

“We just got new assignments.  Mine is some woman name Monica Rey. . .”

Mike started but was interrupted by the Reaper at the bar yelling out, “"Anyone know anything about a Monica Reyes and John Doggett?" Warren saw his two friend’s faces blanch.  “Oh, shit” they said in unison.

End