A Gift of Love: Mulder’s Story

Sara B. 07/06

Present:

Mulder turned off the tape and shook his head not knowing what to do.  He let the tape rewind and started it again.

“Agent Mulder, if you are listening to this it has been six months since my death…”

Three years earlier:

“Goodbye, Mulder, I don’t want to be around when you find out what a lying back stabbing bitch you are married to.  Oh, wait a minute!  You are a lying backstabbing bastard, happy life.”  The door slammed and Scully was gone.  Something in Mulder died and the pain in his chest nearly made him pass out.  He didn’t see her again for nearly two years.

Scully’s words still stung his ears and he still didn’t know what happened; just a string of ever increasing mistakes that resulted in them losing each other. 

He knew it started when Diana came back from Europe.  He should have told Scully about their history right away, and then maybe the last three years would have been so different.

At first it was an ego thing, he wanted Diana to tell him what a mistake she’d made in leaving him.  Mulder wanted to hear how she still loved him.  He wanted to reject her so she’d feel some of what he’d gone through when she divorced him and left for Europe.

She did tell him she made a mistake and that she still loved him, loved him more than when they’d been married.  His fantasy came true, except, he didn’t reject her.  Instead he tried to be friends but how do you become friends with someone you shared a passionate past with?  Oh, he knew of others who’d done it but it wasn’t in the cards for them.  Within months they were sharing dinners and spending weekends together.  They didn’t share a bed, at least not then, that betrayal came later.  All the while he and Diana were growing closer his relationship with Scully was becoming more distant.  He seemed to be unable to control himself but he kept pushing her away.  Maybe somewhere down deep inside him he knew he was hurting her, betraying her, so he subconsciously wanted to protect her.  In the long run it didn’t work.

Scully, with the aid of the Gunmen, searched Diana’s background and confronted him with their findings.  They told him she was involved with the people he and Scully had fought against for so long.  He hadn’t really listened to them and he refused to accept it. 

He’d gone to Diana’s and allowed himself to be sucked in.  CGB Spender stopped by while he was there and told Mulder the lame excuse of looking for his son.  Mulder fell for it – hook, line and sinker.  That night colonization was averted but he lost Scully, only he didn’t know it then.

Two days later they were reassigned to the X-Files and that night they had a huge fight.  Mulder stormed out of Scully’s apartment, went straight to Diana and into her bed.  The next morning, when Scully walked into the office, she took one look at him and she knew.  From then on it was strictly business between them.  Any attempts he made to clear things up between them she avoided.  One night Mulder stopped by her apartment and forced the confrontation. 

“I can’t trust you anymore, Mulder.  You said it yourself, sleeping with the enemy, that’s what you are doing.  Until you can prove with evidence of her trustfulness, like we provided evidence of her deceit, I can’t afford to trust you.  You are just the man who is sleeping with one of the people who is responsible for ruining my life and murdering my sister.  You are no longer the Fox Mulder that I trusted and loved, that man no longer exists, you killed him.”  Mulder had been furious and stormed out of her apartment without looking back. 

That night he and Diana caught a flight to Las Vegas, for what was supposed to be a last minute weekend away, and seven days later he woke with a huge hangover, a maxed out credit card and a marriage certificate.  He’d been in an alcohol induced stupor starting on the plane and lasting four solid days.   From what he’d been able to glean from what Diana told him, they were married on the way from the airport to the hotel.  She’d cleared the time off with Skinner and they had a flight back in three hours.  Never let it be said that Fox Mulder learned from his mistakes.

Monday, Mulder walked into the office to find Scully already at work.  Beyond a cursory hello she avoided all conversation with him.  Around eleven-thirty Diana waltzed in and asked him for lunch.  He’d invited Scully and, not surprisingly, she declined.  When he returned from lunch, Scully was nowhere to be found and he didn’t see her the rest of the day.  

Tuesday started much the same but, after his lunch with Diana, he found Scully ready to pounce.  “Agent Mulder, from now on you either keep that woman and the rest of your sordid personal life from this office and our work or I will be forced to take it up with our superiors.  Do I Make Myself Clear?”

Scully shot the first salvo but Mulder knew how to fight dirty, and he didn’t hold anything back.  He wanted to bring this to a head, to get some reaction from Scully.  His hurtful diatribe went on for nearly forty minutes and culminated with, “Diana is my wife, stop being a jealous harpy and do your job.  Diana can come and go from this office as she likes and there is nothing you can do to stop it!”

Scully looked at him like he’d grown horns, maybe he had.  He was horrified to see her smile because he knew she’d made a decision and he wasn’t going to like it.  “Goodbye, Mulder, I don’t want to be around when you find out what a lying back stabbing bitch you are married to.  Oh, wait a minute!  You are a lying backstabbing bastard, happy life.”

~

Mulder didn’t see Scully again for fourteen months.  By then he’d found proof that even he couldn’t refute regarding Diana’s duplicity.  Or, maybe he should say, the evidence was forced on him.

The marriage ended the moment Scully walked out of the office but Mulder refused to admit defeat so he held on until he couldn’t hide from the truth any longer.

Skinner included him in a top secret covert operation.  He was under orders not to divulge to anyone, including his ever loving wife.

The raid on the warehouse netted twenty-seven top level conspirators; the replacements of the leaders killed at El Rico.   Included in the illustrious group were CGB Spender, Krycek, Marita and Special Agent Diana Fowley, also known as Mrs. Fox Mulder.  They also found the means to stop the invasion.  The members of the consortium were hording vaccine so only a select group would be inoculated.  The plan was to construct a master race to lead the slave race the aliens were working to create.

Mulder helped take the conspirators into custody then called the first divorce attorney he could find.

Mulder asked Skinner why he hadn’t told him before the raid.  “Mulder, we had evidence against them.  Your three nerdy friends and Scully started the investigation before she left.  Frohike told me about how you took it when they’d shown you what they’d found.  I’m sorry but you couldn’t be trusted not to tell Diana.  But you deserved to be in on it after all the work you’ve done.  My only option was to include you on the raid but not provide you with any details.”  Mulder accepted and understood.

During her trial, Diana claimed she was trying to bring them down from the inside.  The tactic didn’t work and all twenty-seven were convicted and ten of those committed suicide rather than face a life in prison, including Diana and Spender. 

To the outside world the men and women of the consortium were convicted of conspiracy, crimes against the United States and treason, the true details behind it all will remain locked in a vault for at least sixty-five years.

Skinner received a promotion for his work and by order of the President there was a ball to celebrate.  That was when Fox Mulder saw Dana Scully again.

Mulder knew Scully had been invited but he didn’t know if she would actually come.  Skinner included the Gunmen and a few of their contacts because without their involvement it never would have happened.  Mulder’s relationship with the three men, who, next to Scully, were the closest people in the world to him, had deteriorated to the occasional phone call or assistance when needed.  That night Mulder was doing his best to make up with them and maybe reestablish a real relationship with them. 

Either way, he wanted to funnel some monies to their various endeavors.  Mulder was Diana’s sole beneficiary and heir; she had been Spenders only heir so from their deaths and from what his father had willed to him, Mulder was a very wealthy man.  Wealth derived from other’s ill gotten gains. 

They were talking when Mulder looked up and saw Scully enter the ballroom and time literally stopped.  Her hair, which she’d let grow, was a mass of waves piled on her head with several tendrils cascading down.  She was wearing a deep blue gown that clung to her and sparkled.  She turned and Mulder saw the back plunged to her waist.  Mulder felt himself walking toward her until he saw her reach out her hand and a tall sandy haired man with a radiant smile take it.  He pulled her gently and they kissed.  It was then Mulder saw the glint on her left ring finger; Scully was married. 

“Scully,” he called gently to catch her attention.  He saw her tense and the man holding her hand looked at him.  Mulder knew that the man knew who he was as he watched him place a protective arm about her shoulders.

Scully turned and looked up to the man.  A slight nod, that would have been missed by most but not the two men who loved her, said she was fine.

“Mulder,” Scully pulled him into a light hug.  “Paul, this is my former partner, Fox Mulder.  Mulder this is Paul Hemming, my husband.”

The man extended his hand and they shook.  Scully was pulled away by Skinner and the gunmen and Mulder and Paul were left alone in a crowd of three-hundred.

“Agent Mulder, Dana has told me all about your partnership.  I’d like to get together and swap notes some time.”  Mulder’s amazement must have shown on his face.  “I’m a psychologist by profession but I study the Para-sciences during my free time.  It’s my passion, next to Dana and little Clare.”

“Clare?”

“Clare is my daughter from my former marriage.  My then wife, Jesse, was killed in an auto accident.  That’s how Dana and I met.  She worked on Clare while another team worked on Jesse.”

“So you started dating Scully after your wife died?”  Mulder asked and was surprised when the man began to laugh.

“Sorry, you make it sound like you thought we started before.  Jesse and I were in the midst of a nasty divorce but I waited two months after her death to call Dana; best phone call of my life.  She’s the absolute best thing in my life, next to my daughter.  She was hard to wrangle; she was still getting over some lousy bastard who damned near ruined her.  But I doubt I have to tell you about that, you probably know more about it than I do.”  Mulder nodded sadly.  “Just tell me, is he here tonight?  Is there a chance that my Dana will run into that idiot?  I cannot understand how anyone would let Dana leave.”  Paul was looking around.  “So, is he here?”

“Yeah, he is.”  Mulder’s voice barely rose above the din of the surrounding conversations.

“Don’t tell me who he is because I’m not sure I could keep from punching him.  Or maybe I should thank him.  If he hadn’t been an ass I wouldn’t have found my Dana.”

Scully returned and Paul pulled her into a loose hug.  “So, Scully, how long have you two been married?”  Mulder tried to sound casual but he knew that the woman who knew him better than anyone heard the pain.

“Four months, we got married in Malibu on the beach.  I’m surprised that Skinner or the Gunmen didn’t tell you.  They were all there.”

Paul interrupted, “Babe, we need to find our seats.  You two can catch up after all the awards and speeches.”

An hour later, Mulder watched Scully head out onto the terrace and followed.  She was leaning against the cement rail watching the stars.

“Beautiful night,” Mulder said as he reached her.  Scully was startled and moved away slightly.

“Yes, it is.  I’m so happy Walter has been recognized.  He’s deserved this for a long time.”

Mulder wasn’t content to talk shop.  “You look wonderful, Scully.  I’ve missed you, you know.”

“Mulder, please, don’t.”  Scully pleaded with him to stop.

“I love you, I always have.  I made a horrible mistake, one that I’ll pay for the rest of my life.”

“Mulder,” she warned.  “I’ll have to leave if you don’t stop this nonsense.”

“It isn’t nonsense.  I loved you then and I love you now.  I was mad at you and I screwed up.  I know I’m too late but,” Mulder took her hand and kissed the palm.  “Did you ever love me?”

“What good would it be to go over this, it doesn’t mean anything now, I suppose, considering everything, it never did,”  Scully said wistfully.

“Scully, it did and it still does mean everything.  I know I caused all of this but I do love you and I need to know if you love me.”

“You are a piece of work, you know that, Mulder?”  Bitterness crept into her voice.  “What makes you think I want to hear this; that I want to know this?  You left me in a void.  I was completely bereft and I had to escape just to be true to myself.  Somehow I found Paul.  He loves me unconditionally.  I didn’t have to jump through hoops to earn his trust and his love.  I didn’t have to keep trying to prove myself worthy.  Paul accepts me even though he knows all about,” she broke off, unwilling to continue. 

Luckily Paul came out looking for her.  “Are you two catching up?”  He pulled Scully to him and gave her a tender kiss.  “Some woman named Holly is looking for you; she wants to have a talk.”

The two men watched Scully reenter the banquet hall.  “So, Mulder, I just found out that you are the one that hurt Dana.”  Paul said too casually.  “I couldn’t believe how many of your coworkers had Mulder / Scully stories.  They were all shocked when you ran off and married that Fowley woman.”

Mulder began to say something but Paul raised his hand.  “No need.  I really don’t care, all I want is a promise that you won’t try and interfere with our lives now.  I love Dana and I will not tolerate you, or anyone, causing her problems.  Do we have an understanding?”  Paul didn’t wait for Mulder’s response before he walked back into the hall. 

Mulder was standing in the balcony doorway as he watched Scully and Paul leave.

~

Present:

Mulder closed his suitcase and sat on the bed.  He rewound the tape and began it again, he’d heard it three times but the generous message had yet to sink in.

“Agent Mulder, if you are listening to this it has been six months since my death and Dana and Clare are alone.  I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor the month before Dana and I were married.  She knew, I couldn’t have married her without telling her.  The truth is I didn’t want to marry her because of my illness but she insisted.  Dana wanted us to have as much goodness as we could until the inevitable happened.  It has been wonderful.  Dana is a blessing come true for me.  We have been happy but I always knew you were first.  Not that she doesn’t love me as much as she can, she does.  But there is a part of her that always belonged to you; it always will.  It took a long while for her not to feel guilty about it.  I had to convince her that I understood.  I’m not sure she’s ever forgiven herself for not loving me completely but what she gave was so beautiful that I never felt left out or that anything was missing. 

“Agent Mulder, I’m giving you a gift that in reality is not mine to give, it’s Dana’s.  I only hope that you have grown and now understand the worth of Dana’s love.  She does love you and I know that, she may not understand, she has forgiven the sins of the past.  We’ve spoken about it at length recently.  Dana no longer holds the resentment and anger she did.  I like to believe I’m at least partly responsible for that but in reality it is probably more a testament to the kind of woman Dana is than anything else.”

The tape went on to give an address where Scully now lived and finished with, “Agent Mulder, you be true to our Dana, be worthy of her love.  Help her take care of Clare.  Be there like I wish I could have been.”

~

Mulder parked his rental in the drive of the large house.  He turned off the motor and just sat looking at the front door for several long moments.  What lay behind that door?  Would he be welcomed or shunned?  Was he brave enough to find out?

The door opened while he sat there and he saw her, Scully.  Her hair was longer and was not styled in the severe career woman fashion he remembered.  Mulder’s eyes drank her in like a parched desert traveler seeks water to quench his thirst.  Scully nodded once and he knew.

Mulder exited the car and they separated the distance between them.  A young girl of seven or eight joined them and held onto Scully’s waist.  Scully held up a tape identical to the one Mulder held in his left hand.  “We’ve been waiting for you, Mulder, Paul told me you’d come.”

He closed the short gap and gathered her into his arms.  Two minds with one thought, “thank you, Paul.”

End Mulder’s Story