Rejecting and Redemption

Sara B. 3/2005

Scully:  Humiliation thy name is Dana

Scully walked as quickly as she could down the hallway.  She had no intention of waiting for the ancient elevator to make her escape so she headed for the stairs.  Mulder’s voice calling her back could be heard as he was pulling on his shoes. She   still couldn’t believe what had just happened; she only knew she had to get away from here now.

She was pulling away from the curb when she saw Mulder running toward her.  She prayed that he’d forgotten his keys in his haste to chase her.  Now, where to go? 

She couldn’t go home or to her mom’s, he would find her there too easily.  She needed time to refortify the walls she carelessly let crumble.  How could she have been so stupid?  How could she even think that he could feel anything more than friendship for her or that he wanted to hear her pour her heart out to him?  How could she have told him she loved him?  That she was in love with him.

Scully needed to find a place to hide for a couple of days.  The only place that came to mind was her Uncle Bingo’s.  Uncle Bingo was not really her uncle but he and Ahab had been friends since childhood, almost brothers.  Bingo’s real name was Benjamin Harrison Tweeksberry. Bingo had been named after the former President and, reportedly, distant relative.  Ahab was the one who renamed him Bingo.  Right now she needed Uncle Bingo’s calming influence to help her decide how to handle this. 

She didn’t dare take the time to go to her apartment to pack, opting to hit the nearest ATM instead.  She had her overnight bag and the cash to buy necessities and gas.  She couldn’t use her credit cards because they were too easy to trace.  She had her laptop but opted to stop at a nearby cyber café to send e-mails to her mom, the guys and Skinner.  She was off.

Mulder: The price of cowardice is damnation

Mulder got back into his apartment twenty minutes after watching Scully drive away.  He’d been so intent on catching her that he left his keys behind, something he found out when he tried to get into his car to go after her.  He sat heavily on his couch and ran over the last hour. 

What had he done?  He’d ruined the only relationship he ever cared about with a lie.  That was what he’d done.  Scully had come over after work to relax, watch a couple of movies and order pizza.  It was the first night they’d been home in three weeks and there was no impending case that needed immediate attention.

They had just finished the pizza when Scully got serious.  She told him everything he’d ever wanted to hear.  She was in love with him.  And what did he do?  He panicked and told her that ‘I love you Scully but I’m not in love with you’ and blathered on about how this couldn’t affect their partnership and a whole load of other bullshit.  He didn’t stop till he heard the door slam as she raced out of his place.  He’d run after her once he’d been able to get his shoes on and after tripping over the untied laces, twice.  He reached the sidewalk just as she was pulling away.  That is when he found out he’d left his keys in the apartment.

Sitting here now he realized where Scully was coming from.  The dragons had been slain, their careers were on solid ground for once and it was time to start living the life they’d fought hard to have.  Scully was right, it was time.  The only problem was that he’d come to this conclusion after the damage was done.

‘God if you are there could you help me fix this?’  He silently pleaded.

Scully: Some time for rejuvenation and reflection

Scully arrived at Bingo’s as the sun was rising.  Her exhaustion was only tempered by her humiliation and hurt.  She was not angry at Mulder, he couldn’t help that he wasn’t in love with her just like she couldn’t help being in love with him.  You just can’t control those things.  It was her fault; she should have just kept it to herself.  She knew the types of women Mulder had been attracted to and she just wasn’t his type.  Actually, Mulder was not her type either but he was implanted in her heart anyway.  Right now she just needed to sleep and rejuvenate so she could go back to her job.

Scully sat in her car waiting for a decent time to knock on the door.  She’d stopped and bought a phone card and called Bingo from a pay phone so he knew she was coming.  She was sitting there for five minutes when the kitchen door opened and the six-foot five inch frame of Uncle Bingo bolted from the house.  Seconds later Scully found herself encased in his arms, surrounded by the big man.  It was almost like being in Ahab’s embrace and for the first time since the ordeal started she allowed the tears to fall.  Bingo just held her and murmured for her to let go.

Some time later she gained her composure and they made it to the kitchen.  Bingo made breakfast and ordered her to eat.  He didn’t ask her what happened but let her know he was there for her.  She knew he wouldn’t pry nor would he be judgmental if she did tell him. 

After breakfast he carried her bag up to the guest room and suggested she rest.  They both knew sleep wouldn’t come easily for her.

Bingo called Maggie for her to let her know that Scully was fine.  Even if Mulder could find someone to trace the calls on her mom’s phone, a call from Bingo wouldn’t be out of the ordinary because they spoke often and not on any set schedule so it wouldn’t raise Mulder’s suspicions. 

Mulder: Uneasy hearts and troubled minds

Mulder found he was very alone.  He’d gone to Scully’s only to find she hadn’t gone home.  His call to her mom was a dead end with the exception that Maggie told him that ‘Dana’s fine she’s taking some time to think things through.’  He didn’t want Scully to think things through; it wasn’t good if she did.  She might realize how much better she could do.

Skinner called while he was still at Scully’s and asked him what bone- headed thing he’d done?  Mulder never answered the question, hanging up instead.

Mulder ended up at the Lone Gunmen’s place where he was met with stoicism and blank stares.  Suddenly Byers pulled him to another room and Mulder broke down and told him everything that had happened. 

“Mulder, do you love her, I mean are you in love with her?”

“Yes and it scares me to death.  I mean what if it fails, if we lose everything we have?”

“What if it doesn’t?”  Was John’s quiet reply.

“Huh?” Mulder asked not understanding.

“I mean, what if it works?  What if you and Scully are forever?  Are you willing to risk your relationship because you are afraid?  I know your past relationships were less than stellar but they all lacked what this one has.”  Mulder looked at Byers trying to figure out what he was referring to.  “Scully, they weren’t Scully.  She has seen you at your worst.  When you’ve been hurt and when you’ve been such an arrogant ass, when you doubted her and didn’t believe in her, when we almost gave up on you.  If she hasn’t run away before why would she now?”

“You mean unless I screwed up too badly this time don’t you?”  Mulder asked dejectedly.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”  Byers replied with sympathy.

Scully: Decisions must be made with a cool head

Scully had been at Bingo’s for three days.  She helped in the garden and relaxed in the sun.  She read and she finished a paper she was submitting to one of the medical periodicals.  She did everything except think about what had happened, or at least she tried not to. 

That night at dinner Bingo decided it was time to get her to make some decisions.  He still didn’t know what had prompted her visit and he didn’t need to know, but he did want her to face whatever it was.

“Dana honey, you know I’d never pry but sweetheart you need to look at whatever happened and face up to it.  If you need to talk to someone I’m here and you know it goes no further than here and now.” 

His hand was on her arm and she just looked at it for a moment “I made a complete fool out of myself.  I told Mulder that I was in love with him and he told me he loved me like a friend.”

“Oh, Dana honey, you didn’t make a fool out of yourself, you should be proud.  We only have one chance on this earth and we have to tell those we love how we feel.  Look at me, I loved my Katie but I was in love with someone else.  I waited too long and another snatched her away.  Katie and I were good together but I always regretted that I couldn’t give her all my heart and that I never told the other one how I felt.”

“You’re talking about Mom and Ahab,” it wasn’t a question and all he did was nod.  “Why don’t you tell her now, you’ve both been widowed for a while?”

“Now that’s my Dana Kate, she comes seeking council for her problem then tries to solve mine.”  His love for her flowed over her like a blanket; “I loved your daddy too much to step in now.  Maggie and I have an understanding.”  He patted her shoulder, “now what about you and this Mulder?  You’ve told me some of what you and he have been through and somehow I think he didn’t exactly tell you the truth.  No one would go through what he has for you and you for him, and not be in love.  Maybe he’s scared or in denial?  Or maybe he was startled by your declaration?”

Scully had never thought of that but it still didn’t help.  “Even if one of those is true what does it solve?  He still rejected me.”

“Well, I see you only have one choice.”  Her brow peaked up.  “You my girl have to start dating.”

“What on earth?”  Scully yelped.

“It solves both situations.  If he really does only see you as his friend then it gets you out there.  Maybe you will find someone else.  Or if he does love you it will be a swift kick to his slats to show him that he could lose you.”

“I don’t know Bingo, it’s been a long time since I dated and I don’t know where to start.”

“Dana, have you looked in a mirror lately?  You are a beautiful, intelligent woman with a pretty impressive career.  I’d put good money down that if you looked around men have been trying to get your attention for ages.  But as for where to start we call your mother.  We both know she’s got a list of eligible men just waiting to set you up with.”

Mulder: Damnation walks in the door

Today was Scully’s first day back.  Mulder arrived early with coffee and bagels for both of them.  He had his speech all set; He was ready to fess up to his lie and to tell her that he really did love her.  Mulder had it all planned.  He’d used his profiling background to imagine exactly what she would say and feel.  She’d be relieved and angry but in the end they’d end up at one of their apartments tonight to start their lives together.  Oh yeah, he had it in the bag.

If only that was what happened.  Scully waltzed in at seven fifty removed her coat and then before he could say a word turned toward him and gave ‘her’ prepared speech.  “Mulder I want to thank you for being honest with me last week.  It was so much better than if you had made some half hearted attempt to return my feelings.  That would have ruined everything and . . .”  She went on for a while but Mulder didn’t really hear; he’d been so stunned by her words that he tuned out for a moment.  It wasn’t until the phone rang and she answered that he ‘woke up’ only to hear her talking to some guy named Paul and confirming her date with him that night.  His Scully was going out on a date and it wasn’t with him!

When she hung up, the phone rang again; they were wanted in Skinner’s office immediately.  Mulder’s ‘rebuttal’ would have to wait until after the meeting.

Ten hours later Mulder found himself at home alone eating pizza, which could have been made from cardboard for all he could taste, and staring at some meaningless porn on his TV.  Skinner kept them in the meeting until eleven thirty.  They were being added to the Bennington Hill task force and the team was bringing them up to speed.  When the meeting adjourned Agent Tamara Mills asked Scully to join her and some others for lunch while Skinner took Mulder aside.  Mulder didn’t see Scully for the rest of the day and she didn’t answer her cell.  He’d made calls to all her usual haunts but didn’t find her.

Now he sat there on his couch thinking about her getting ready for this date with some unknown man.  He wondered what she was going to wear.  He’d only seen her dressed up once and then he bailed on her. 

The FBI held several celebrations every year.  Retirement parties for the higher echelon, award banquets and so on.  Mulder was quite adept at avoiding them but he knew that Scully sometimes attended and represented the both of them.  There had even been the occasional time that when she went she pretended that he was there too so that he would get credit for playing with the team.  He found this out quite by accident when an agent cornered him the next day and told him that he’d been looking for him all night to ask him about some case but he’d missed him at every turn. 

Two years ago he couldn’t avoid going because Scully was receiving an accommodation.  She asked him personally to escort her.  He’d joked that she could do better and he saw the hurt in her eyes, so he went.  He picked her up at six thirty; when she opened the door she was beautiful.  Scully is always beautiful but that night she was more so, she sparkled.  Would she be sparkling tonight he wondered?  They’d gone to the banquet hall and when Scully was off having her picture taken an informant called and he took off.  He didn’t see her get her award and to this day he’d never seen it.  Would she show it to Paul?

It was then that Mulder got angry.  How dare she tell him that she loves him then do this?  What did she do, have this guy waiting in the wings if things didn’t work out between them?

A small voice tried to break through the fog of his anger and tell him that he had no right to be mad at her.  That it was his fault she wasn’t with him.  That after years of innuendo that went no where and him flaunting his various liaisons, infrequent as they were, she needed more in her life.  Mulder heard the voice but dismissed it, anger won out over reason.

Scully:  Facing it

Scully stood in the elevator thinking about her date.  What had her mother been thinking?  Paul was a nice man, a nice man obsessed with his ex-wife.  His five-foot two red headed ex-wife.  His five-foot two red headed ex-wife who weighed one hundred and three pounds and was a doctor.  She could still hear him say ‘you remind me so much of Dari, Dana.’  Fancy that!  She couldn’t figure how THAT could be?

She entered her apartment chuckling.  She went straight to her bedroom and unzipping her dress, not bothering with the light.  It wasn’t until she was picking the dress up that she saw him sitting in the chair just like he had done several years back.  She grasped the dress in front of her like a shield.

Neither spoke but Mulder rose and approached her, his movements stealthy and meaningful; predatory.  “Nice dress Scully, don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.”  He said as he grabbed it from her grasp.  She tried to get it back but he held it firm.  She then tried to move to find her robe but he blocked her movements.  She stood there in a strapless midnight blue bra and matching bikini panties, more lace than actual material, black thigh high stockings and the sexiest pair of almost nothing three inch heels Mulder had ever seen.  “You will never dress like this for anyone else, do you understand Scully?  Never!”  Mulder’s anger and desire were at fever pitch and his voice was low and dangerous.

“You don’t want me but you don’t want anyone else to have me, is that the game Mulder?”  Scully’s embarrassment had been completely replaced by her anger at his audacity.

“Not want you?  Not – Want – You?”  Mulder grabbed her and tossed her on the bed.  “You have no clue, do you?”  He said as he was climbing up her body.  “I’ve wanted you, loved you, been In – Love with you for so long I . . .” Mulder didn’t finish as his mouth plundered hers.  His hands removed her bra and ripped the panties from her body.  Her hands were not idle as she tore his shirt and fought to undo his slacks. 

Moments later they were naked and Mulder entered her moist heat.  Fully sheaved, they halted their movements to accommodate everything they were feeling.  “So stupid Scully, I was so stupid.  You have to know I’m in love with you, you must know that.”  He pleaded.

“I do now,” she responded breathlessly.

Slowly they began to move, each matching the other.  Their hands explored and their mouths stole the other’s breath.  Long moments later, which were too short, their passions peaked.  Scully fell into the crevice first; seconds later Mulder followed as her body milked him.

They recovered languidly still entwined and murmuring nonsensicals.  “We belong to each other now Mulder, you can’t back away again.  I couldn’t take it.”  Scully whispered to him so softly he felt it more than heard it.

“Never Scully, I won’t ever leave you again.”  Mulder said as he began a new assault on her body.  This time was much less frenzied but no less passionate.

Scully and Mulder:  The morning after

Mulder was sitting at the kitchen table in a pair of sweat pants and a Tee shirt from the kit he kept in her closet, drinking coffee as Scully answered the door.

“Mom, Uncle Bingo!”  Mulder heard the hesitancy in her voice and started for her.

The duo nudged past her. “We just wanted to know how your date went.”  Scully’s mom said.

A man’s voice that Mulder didn’t know said, “I’d say better than we expected Maggie,” as Mulder walked into the room.

“Fox!”  Maggie exclaimed with more glee than surprise. Mulder just smiled shyly.

The older man looked confused for a moment until he figured it out.  “So you must be Mulder,” as he held his hand out.  “I told you it would work out Dana Kate,” Bingo said as he gave her a wink.  “I’m glad you came to your senses young man.”  With that he pulled Mulder into a hug and whispered, “love her well, just love her well.”

Maggie and Bingo left after an hour.  Mulder and Scully saw them to the door.  When the door was closed Mulder snuggled into Scully and whispered seductively, “Scully,” drawing out her name in a sing song manner.

“Yes,” she matched.

“Do you think we could,” he hesitated and she looked up at him. “Do you think we could look at that award you got a while ago?”  She smacked him.

End Story