A Time to Heal

Sara B. 05/2005

Scully stood next to the window looking out at the storm over the ocean.  She’d come to this cottage three days earlier to mend her broken heart so she could move on. 

Immediately following the meeting in Kersh’s office Mulder ran to the elevator to reclaim his basement domain and she approached Skinner about taking a leave of absence.  He’d given her a cursory argument but once he realized the toll the last several days had taken on her, he relented.  It took a lot to affect Agent Scully’s foundation, she was not only affected she was in danger of crumbling.  

Scully was never one to brood, but this was the one loss she couldn’t seem to shake off.  The loss of Mulder and his trust had somehow become all encompassing and left devastation in its wake.  She saw the last remnants of his trust leave when she and the Gunmen confronted him; amid the dim lighting and over taxed equipment she saw the moment Mulder lost his faith in her.  It had been she who stormed out but it was Mulder who left.

This respite by the sea was owned by Admiral Andrew Gregg, Ahab’s former commanding officer and dearest friend.  He was also Dana’s Godfather and would forever hold the honorary title of Uncle Andy to all of the Scully children.  One call from Maggie Scully and Andy messengered the keys to Dana with a note saying that his agent would make all the arrangements and stock some staples for her, all she had to do was buy groceries.

Scully arrived at this small seaside community four hours after her talk with Skinner.  Her arrival was un-heralded and marked only with the mournful wail of a far off dog howling into the early evening moonlit sky.  She unpacked her cases and stored the supplies that she’d picked up at the lone grocery store in the area then explored her temporary home.

The cottage on the beach was a small, two story construction painted all white with deep green shutters on the windows; it looked like it belonged as an island plantation guest house and not the outer banks of the Carolinas.  The floor plan was open and the kitchen, dining room and living room all melded together to make a complete living space surrounding a center stair case.  Only the small powder room on the lower floor was separated from the main living space.  The entire second story made up the master suite with a sleeping area, large bath and a sitting area that had floor to ceiling bookshelves.  The eastern wall was all glass and looked out onto the Atlantic Ocean, opening up to the wrap around deck. 

There was no television anywhere and that was fine with her.  Scully had no interest in hearing the carefully orchestrated lies to cover the holocaust.  Exhaustion overtook her and she fell into bed, grateful to whoever saw to it that it was made and ready to engulf her weary body.  Scully drifted deeply into a fitful slumber.

The next day she explored the deserted beach and read.  She wanted to keep her mind occupied so she wouldn’t have to think about what she’d just been through.  Scully had to force herself to eat.  The days end found her in another night of sleep that would not give her rest. 

-x-

 Scully finished her bath moments before the first distant thunder clap.  Her towel lay discarded at her feet and she stood completely naked just watching the lightening over the ocean.  If anyone had been out they would have gotten an interesting view.  She had no worry on that score because there was no one around for miles.  Her little haven was too far north for vacationers at this time of the year.

This would be her third night in the large empty bed that crowed the far wall of the room. Somehow being the single occupant of her bed at home never seemed as lonely as the last two nights had felt.  Scully was used to being alone, her last lover was Jack Willis and that had been seven years earlier.  She hadn’t felt the loneliness before her visit here. 

Scully turned and walked to the dresser and took out the deep blue nightgown.  She looked at the silkened fabric in her hand then at its rainbow colored sisters in the drawer and smiled.  These were not the nightclothes of a solitary woman.  They should be owned by a woman loved by a man, a woman in love.  For years she’d taken to wearing pajamas, some satin, some soft cotton, some short panted and some long but it had been years since she donned sexy nightgowns.  She fingered the fabric and smoothed the material around her body as it drifted into place and wondered why she had packed them?  A tear stole from her eye and stained the blue that covered her breast.

-x-

Standing next to the lone tree in front of the small white cottage was a man looking not at the ocean but at the woman above.  He’d seen her walk to the wall of glass wearing only a towel.  She stared at the storm that was slowly moving ashore and he watched her.  Suddenly her towel fell to the floor but she didn’t bother retrieving it, instead standing there naked.  Her form was backlit and graced him with a view more dear to him than air.

Mulder watched her until she retreated to the depths of the room.

Two days earlier Mulder had raced down the stairs to the basement, not wasting time waiting for the elevator or Scully.  He arrived to find the office door was open wide, a large puddle of blood lay on the floor and the air smelled of cigarette and gunpowder.  He quickly searched the offices as he called security.  Once the room was secured, Agent Dan Kendal interviewed him for two hours.  When did you arrive?  What did you see?  How long before you called security?  So on and so on answering and re-answering, them and answering them again because, as everyone knows, the government does everything in triplicate. 

It was well after three when they let him go and he went in search of Scully.  An hour of calling her turned off cell, her home answering machine, her work voice mail, and searching Kersh’s punishment palace he went to Skinner’s office where he was told that Dana Scully had asked for and been given a leave of absence.  Skinner had taken one look at Mulder and decided to give him a leave too.  Mulder suspected that Skinner didn’t want to have to deal with him without his earthbound tether, Scully.  Skinner is a very smart man.

Mulder spent the next day alternating between pretending to not care where Scully was and torturing the Gunmen into finding her.  Something they were reluctant to do and made him wonder if their inability to locate her was real or a convenient failure.

Mulder broke down and called Maggie Scully this morning but only got her machine and he left a pathetic message begging for information on Scully’s whereabouts.  Three hours later a messenger handed him a package from an Admiral A. Gregg.  Inside was a set of keys, a detailed map and the security code.  Mulder packed quickly then headed south.

-x-

Mulder screwed his courage and headed to the front of the house.  He unlocked the door and entered the security code.  He then looked around the dimly lit space and spotted the stairs.  Reaching the top he saw her; even with her back to him he could tell that she felt his presence.  He just stood at the landing watching her.

Scully felt the moment Mulder entered the cottage.  She couldn’t explain it; she hadn’t heard anything but she knew.  It was almost as if the air became electric with his presence.  Surprisingly his arrival wasn’t even unexpected and her body almost felt like she’d been waiting for him.  Why he was here was a mystery, she hadn’t thought he’d bother.

Without looking at him she said, “I really need to have a talk with my mom about the meaning of ‘don’t tell Mulder where I’ve gone.’”

“She didn’t, Scully.  I got a package with a map and a key and here I am.”  He was moving further into the room, his eyes never straying from her form.  “That is a really beautiful nightgown Scully, but I much prefer your earlier outfit better.”  This earned him a small chuckle.  Mulder was within inches of her and her bent down and whispered in her ear, “you have a very beautiful birthday suit, Scully.”  His lips caressed her ear then traced light kisses to her jaw line.  His hands rested on her shoulders and turned her toward him.  Mulder moved his hand down her arms taking the thin straps with them then let the gown fall to the floor. 

Scully’s hands busied themselves with unbuttoning Mulder’s shirt then pushing it from his body.  She next attacked his jeans not being able to divest him fast enough.    

The storm that raged outside the walls of the small cottage couldn’t compete with the storm that raged in the bedroom.  No words were said, none were needed.  They communicated with pure physicality.  Touches, caresses, kisses, nips and all the other weapons of love in their arsenal.

-x-

Mulder woke in the morning to find their bodies completely entwined.  Scully’s head rested on his chest and her hair fanned all around.  He felt her stir, dreading what the morning would bring.  He could take her anger but not her regret.  He gave a silent prayer to the God he’d long denied, begging that Scully not regret crossing that line.

Scully sat up and tossed her tangled tresses back.  “Curious that we become lovers at the time when we are so far from each other emotionally.”

“Scully, what we did last night didn’t make us lovers.”  She sat up straight and pulled the sheet to cover herself and Mulder realized his mistake.  “No, Scully, you misunderstood!  I meant we’ve been lovers for years just never in the physical way.  We were lovers when you followed me to Alaska even though I told you not to.  We were lovers when you nursed me after my father died.  We were lovers when I let that woman, I thought was my sister, be traded for you.  We were lovers when I almost lost you to the cancer.  We were lovers every time we searched for each other, every time we comforted each other and every time we fought.  We are lovers in every sense of the word.  I love you, Scully, and I hope you love me.”

Scully watched his face as he plead for her to understand.  She let the sheet drop, “I do love you, Mulder, and that is why I’m so confused.”

Mulder pulled her into a hug and kissed her temple.  “We’ll get through this Scully.  We have to.  It is just one more hurdle and the prize is so sweet.” 

She captured his lips with her own.  It was a time to heal.

End

Sara B.