Stages

Sara B. 1/06

Curiosity / Determination

Dana Scully walked into Fox Mulder’s office and looked around.  What she found confirmed all the rumors she’d heard about the man.  Fuzzy pictures of Sasquash, ghosts, flying saucers and other, so called, evidence of the paranormal were mingled with certificates of achievements and plaques that provided proof of Agent Mulder’s numerous contributions and his brilliance.  The office walls were dominated by a poster of a ‘flying saucer’ with the words ‘I Want to Believe.’ Fox Mulder wanted to believe.

She knew she was going where she was not welcome or even wanted.  She also knew that she could give Mulder her expertise and her skepticism and provide the grounding he needed for legitimacy.

Skeptic does not mean non-believer.

Defiance / Incredulity

They were returning to DC and Mulder was sleeping in the seat next to her.  He’d run off, disobeyed a government issued evacuation and been incarcerated.  They, the FBI, had sent her to collect their wayward malcontent. 

She’d done her duty but not without complications.  The doctor at the small local hospital had been overwhelmed and pulled her into harness.  The patients were all military men who were covered with radiation burns.  Unfortunately, many of those patients were introduced to her specialty; Pathology.  The bodies she autopsied were, for lack of a better description, cooked.  Parts of them looked as if they’d been put into a microwave.

Scully looked at Mulder’s sleeping form and silently asked, ‘what was it for?  All the commotion, the fighting, the threats and the mysterious loss of Max Fenig.  What was it all for?’ 

Now they were returning to DC.  Three days earlier their jobs were on the line.  She’d told Mulder that they were threatening his job but she held back that he’d put her position in jeopardy too.  She wouldn’t lay that guilt on him or use their partnership against him.  Skinner had been able to postpone the OPC meeting.  He hadn’t lied just restructured the truth a little.  He told the committee that she had been requested to help out by the local hospital and that their return was delayed. 

She had no idea how they were going to get out of this one. 

Friendship / Loyalty

Mulder heard her in the bathroom; her movements sounded slow and laborious.  Donnie Pfaster had hurt her badly.  But it wasn’t the physical damage that took the harshest toll.  Donnie Pfaster had gotten into her psyche. 

Mulder was grateful that they’d arrived in time.  The sight before him when they crashed through the door nearly did him in.  He’d gone to her while they secured Pfaster and she clung to him; christening him with her tears.  Strangely he felt honored by her faith in him; that to her he represented safety and security.  It was a feeling he wasn’t used to. 

Many people had opinions about Fox Mulder but no one thought of him as their safety net; no one but Dana Scully.

He heard the door to the bathroom open and Scully walked out.  She had the bottoms on her pajama’s not the top.  Instead she held a towel in front of her.  Mulder knew he should look away but he didn’t seem capable. 

Scully avoided his eyes and held out a tube of the ointment the emergency room doctor had prescribed.  She turned and exposed her naked back to him.  He saw a crisscross of lacerations.  Silently he took the tube and started applying the ointment.  When he finished he leaned to her ear.  “You show up in your underwear on our first case, now you come in topless.  I have to tell you, Scully, I’m sensing a pattern here.”

Scully broke out in laughter and Mulder joined her.  “Thank you, Mulder, thank you for being you and bringing me back.”  She turned to him and leaned gently against him.  They just stood there for a while, each grateful for the other.

Affection / Friendship

They were in the backseat just sitting quietly while the two agents in the front chattered on good naturedly about the conference Mulder and Scully had missed.  Mulder watched Scully out of the corner of his eye while she just looked ahead with a small smile gracing her lips.  He could tell she had no idea what Kinsley and Stonecypher were babbling about; Scully was in her own little world.  Mulder wanted to find some quiet place and just talk with Scully.  But it would have to wait until they got away from the ‘Stepford’ Agents. 

Dealing with the locals to close out the case had put them off schedule so they were going to have to find some place to spend the night.  Kinsley pulled into a Motel 6.  Mulder and Scully volunteered to check them in.  Mulder automatically asked for two sets of adjoining rooms.

“Mulder, I think we can make due with two rooms.”

“Scully, the ONLY way would be if you and I shared a room but then the Tweedle twins, Dee and Dum, would turn us in for cohabitating on assignment.  I’ll pay for the extra rooms myself.”

Scully tossed her credit card on the counter next to the FBI card and Mulder’s.  She told the clerk to charge two rooms the FBI card and one room on each of their personal cards.  “Is it possible that the two pairs of rooms are far away from each other?”

“I like the way you think, Scully.

Anger/Distrust

Mulder looked over to where Scully was sitting.  They’d been told to wait outside the conference room for the committee to decide their fate.  He wanted to talk to her but Skinner and Kersh were mere feet away and people kept walking by in the bustling hallway.  He’d tried to catch her attention several times but she wouldn’t look at him. 

About ten minutes later the conference room door open and the four of them were summoned inside.  They were told that Mulder and Scully’s suspension was still in effect since they had disobeyed a standing order to not be involved with the X-file.  But the suspension would be lifted the following Monday at which time they would report to AD Skinner and take charge of the X-Files Division.  Agents Spender and Fowley would be reassigned.  They were dismissed.

Mulder caught up with Scully just before the elevators.

“We need to talk.”  Mulder said as he held her upper arm.

Scully looked at where Mulder had grabbed her and her shoulders sagged.  “We will talk, just not now.”

“Why not?”

“Because my emotions are too raw.  I need time, please don’t push this, Mulder.  We will both regret it if you do.”

“Scully, maybe a few emotions are just what we need right now.  Let’s go some place and hash this out.”  Mulder knew he was bullying her but he didn’t want this estrangement hanging over them.

Scully looked away and Mulder saw the glisten of a tear in the corner of her eye.  Her head started to shake.  “I can’t, Mulder, I need time to resolve my feelings over all this.”

“All what, Scully?”   Mulder’s anger was reflected in his tight low tones.  “How you felt the need to go behind my back and make unfounded accusations against someone I trust?”

Scully pulled her arm from his grasp and stood up as straight as she could.  Her face grew dark as she looked at him for the first time.  “No, Mulder, I have to figure out how what you feel for that woman can make ‘you’re the only one I trust,’ turn from a blessing to a curse.  How you could pretty much destroy something I cherished, our relationship, for a woman you hadn’t heard from since ’91.  Lastly, I have to figure out how I’m going to continue,” she paused for a second then added, “or even if I want to.”

Mulder watched her walk away; he’d never felt so alone in his entire life.

Reconciliation / Reconstruction

Love can change a man.

Those words were running circles around Mulder’s brain.  Arthur Dales had said those words to him earlier.  Dales had been referring to how a man’s love of something could affect him but Mulder’s thoughts ran toward how a woman’s love could transform a mere man into something so much more. 

Yesterday he got the idea to have Scully help him with something over the weekend so he concocted some story of wanting to check birth and death notices in New Mexico for the later ‘40s.  He knew that no matter what else Scully would never turn him down for work.  Unfortunately he found an X-File in the pages of the old newspaper.

Mulder was putting the last of the equipment in his trunk while Scully was searching for any stray balls that they’d missed.  He closed the trunk and watched her scatter about’ he smiled. 

She caught him staring at him and she held up two balls triumphantly and she made her way toward him.  There was a lightness in her step that had been missing for a long time and her body carried none of the tension that had been the norm lately. 

“I’ve got balls, Mulder.”

“You most certainly do, Scully, you really do.”

Her laughter caught him off guard and he found himself joining in.  God, he’d missed this; this feeling of completeness he’d only ever felt with her.

Love / Devotion

He felt her and opened his eyes.  She was at the side of his bed debating; should she leave for stay?  Mulder raised his hand to her and she took it.  He gently tugged her to sit.  Scully nervously licked her lips as their eyes locked. 

Mulder’s hand found its way beneath her sweater and moved up and down her back.  He pulled her slightly toward him with each pass of his hands until they were in am embrace.  He unclasped her bra and soothed the skin.

“I love you, Mulder.”  She said quietly.

“Did it take seeing Daniel again for you to know that?”  He asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer be he needed to.

“No,” she pulled back and looked him in the eye.  “I’ve known for a long time.  But it took seeing him to appreciate what that really means.”

“And what does it mean?”

“That the past matters but we can’t let it dictate our future.  I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting and never moving forward.  Loving you doesn’t make me weak but stronger than I ever thought possible.  Everything I ever wanted in a relationship I have with you whether I knew I wanted it or not and I know that you complete me and I complete you.” 

She watched his face expectantly; he smiled.  “I love you too, Scully.  I really do.”

End